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Joke of the day

1/8/03 @ 7:06 PM
redneck29
User since 8/28/01
PARKING TICKET

I went to the store the other day, and I was in there for only about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked geek. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for worn tires! So I called him a piece of garbage. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket! This went on for about 20 minutes... the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner. I try to have a little fun each day. It's important.

Displaying 1 to 15 of 7,568 posts
TODAY @ 3:31 PM
Zmaniac
Zmaniac
PRO MEMBER User since 2/8/06
"A young man with his pants hanging half off his rear, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck, a man-bun, walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.
He marched up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job. I don't like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing."
The social worker behind the counter said "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2018 Mercedes-Benz GT, and he will supply all of your clothes."
"Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say, but you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive."
The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bull-shittin' me!"
The social worker said, "Yeah, well . . . You started it . . . . “
TODAY @ 9:12 AM
arthur1957
arthur1957
User since 6/24/01
Have you heard about the new silent tennis game? It is like regular tennis without all the racket.
TODAY @ 8:36 AM
Bassmaster+recordracks 2
Bassmaster+recordracks 2
PRO MEMBER User since 7/24/20
  
Joke of the day photo by Bassmaster+recordracks 2
5/13/24 @ 4:29 PM
setterjack
setterjack
PRO MEMBER User since 1/18/07
.
Joke of the day photo by setterjack
5/10/24 @ 7:09 AM
Kayaker 8
User since 8/28/20
My death will probably be caused by me being sarcastic at the wrong time.

5/10/24 @ 12:18 AM
Bassmaster+recordracks 2
Bassmaster+recordracks 2
PRO MEMBER User since 7/24/20
 
Joke of the day photo by Bassmaster+recordracks 2
5/9/24 @ 10:29 PM
Bassmaster+recordracks 2
Bassmaster+recordracks 2
PRO MEMBER User since 7/24/20
   
Joke of the day photo by Bassmaster+recordracks 2
5/9/24 @ 9:18 PM
Bassmaster+recordracks 2
Bassmaster+recordracks 2
PRO MEMBER User since 7/24/20
  
Joke of the day photo by Bassmaster+recordracks 2
5/9/24 @ 7:34 PM
Bassmaster+recordracks 2
Bassmaster+recordracks 2
PRO MEMBER User since 7/24/20
 
Joke of the day photo by Bassmaster+recordracks 2
5/6/24 @ 11:50 AM
Bassmaster+recordracks 2
Bassmaster+recordracks 2
PRO MEMBER User since 7/24/20
Viewer discretion advised. 
Joke of the day photo by Bassmaster+recordracks 2
5/6/24 @ 11:21 AM
Bassmaster+recordracks 2
Bassmaster+recordracks 2
PRO MEMBER User since 7/24/20
  
Joke of the day photo by Bassmaster+recordracks 2
5/5/24 @ 7:22 PM
crobar
User since 6/19/01
Interesting KTOWNE.....my dad was stationed in England on air bases in WWII and I remember him and his buddies telling me the story....they set up dummy aircraft on one base....and sure enough the Germans did the same thing...came over and dropped wooden bombs....sometimes trickery doesn't work    
5/5/24 @ 9:05 AM
ktowne
ktowne
PRO MEMBER User since 7/20/03
Joke of the day photo by ktowne
5/2/24 @ 10:15 PM
crawdaddy
User since 7/11/01
Was at Taco Bell.  I noticed the new item, Aardvark nachos.  I got up to the window and asked, “So, is the Aardvark free range or farm raised?”  The drive thru attendant looked at me like I was crazy.
5/2/24 @ 2:28 PM
setterjack
setterjack
PRO MEMBER User since 1/18/07
.
Displaying 1 to 15 of 7,568 posts
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