Joke of the day

PARKING TICKET

I went to the store the other day, and I was in there for only about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked geek. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for worn tires! So I called him a piece of garbage. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket! This went on for about 20 minutes... the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner. I try to have a little fun each day. It's important.

Oh my gosh K8, I actually did something similar!

When my father died I discontinued service on his phone, but kept his phone so I could go through the pics and videos.

Even though Dad's phone had no service, I discovered that I could still send text messages to other iPhones  if I was connected to WiFi - with WiFi you could send an iMessage!

I texted my sisters 3 months after my father passed and said "Hi girls, sorry I have not texted sooner, but heaven has a very strict social media policy.  I hope you're doing well and remember Dad loves you"

Oh my word my sisters were not happy with me!

After my funeral, I will have one of my friends take my phone and text "Thanks for coming" and "see you soon" to all who attended.
Wonder who it will freak out.

A1 was actually invented in the U.K and wasn’t imported into the U.S until 1906.

We have some pros on here that could verify that cause they was around. 

Because they didn't have refrigeration meat would go rancid to cover up the bad taste that's when A1 steak sauce was developed

Interesting....

Bud Wise, that's when the fight started and the dog house door opened. 

I do my fair share yet the other day I took the dish soap out to the garage and she said WHERE IS 'MY' FN DISH SOAP  soooo ooook. 

?Viewer discretion advised. ???Viewer discretion advised.

Sherlock Holmes and Watson have been stretched thin from solving so many cases. They decide a night of camping would rejuvenate them.

It is indeed relaxing and both fell asleep quickly. Holmes awoke at 3am and looked up at the stars. He whispered to Watson. Wake up Watson. What do you see?

Watson says he stars, billions of them, and it makes him think of the beauty of God’s order. Watson continues with a beautiful description for five minutes. There is a long silence and Watson says, What do you see Sherlock? 

Holmes responds,

They’ve stolen our tent you twit.

Hahaha yup that’s me today!!!

Ktowne, Jaybeetle- have you ever driven on I 41 between Appleton and Oshkosh between 0700-0900?  85 MPH is about average!

  

Maybe it was kilometers per hr?