I went to the store the other day, and I was in there for only about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked geek. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for worn tires! So I called him a piece of garbage. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket! This went on for about 20 minutes... the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner. I try to have a little fun each day. It's important.
General Discussion
Joke of the day
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Suzy goes to take her drivers test for the fifth time. Her mother and father weren't available to take her, so she asks her brother if he could take her to the DMV to take the test. Her brother notices she has a study guide and asks if she was stuck on any questions in there. She said yes, number six. It read "you're driving at 60 mph and on the right is a cliff and on the left is a wall. Ahead of you is an old man and a young man. What do you hit? Suzy says I've answered the wall, the cliff, the old man, and the young man and none of those answers were correct. Which one is correct? What do I hit? Her brother looks at her and says "The brakes, Suzy, the brakes!"
My neighbor just got back from a vacation in Morocco. While she was there they visited the famous Moroccan bakeries. She fell in love with the special rolls there and found out that the secret ingredient was fresh thyme so she brought some home. She tried to duplicate them but couldn't find any fresh thyme so she used some old dried up stuff that was in her spice cabinet.
She invited me over to try both types and asked what I thought?
I said, "I like that old thyme Moroccan roll" !
She invited me over to try both types and asked what I thought?
I said, "I like that old thyme Moroccan roll" !
Three idiots go hunting together. The first idiot says hes gonna shoot a buck and goes out and follows a set of tracks and comes back with a nice buck. They ask him how he did it. He said he sees tracks, he followed tracks and got a nice buck. The second idiot goes out and says hes gonna shoot a doe. He comes back with a doe. They ask him how he did it and he says he sees tracks, he followed tracks. The third idiot goes out and says he'll shoot anything he sees. He doesnt come back for a day and a half and when he comes back hes all beaten up. They ask him what happened. He said he sees tracks, he followed tracks and got hit by a train!
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?""No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied. "Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked. "No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said.."I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive. "Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked. "Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!""Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."
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