I went to the store the other day, and I was in there for only about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked geek. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for worn tires! So I called him a piece of garbage. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket! This went on for about 20 minutes... the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner. I try to have a little fun each day. It's important.
General Discussion
Joke of the day
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Seen this on another site
One December day we found an old straggly cat at our door. She was a sorry sight. Starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny, and hair all matted down..
We felt sorry for her so we put her in a carrier and took her to the vet. We didn't know what to call her so we named her 'Pussycat.'
The vet decided to keep her for a day or so he said he would let us know when we could come and get her.
My husband (the complainer) said, 'OK, but don't forget to wash her, she stinks.' He reminded the vet that it was his WIFE (me) that wanted the dirty cat, not him.
My husband and my Vet don't see eye to eye. The vet calls my husband 'El-Cheap-O', and my husband calls the vet 'El-Charge- O'.
They love to hate each other and constantly 'snipe' at one another, with my husband getting in the last word on this particular occasion..
The next day my husband had an appointment with his doctor, Who is located in the same building, next door to the vet.
The GP's waiting room and office was full of people waiting to see the doctor. A side door opened and the vet leaned in - he had obviously seen my husband arrive.
He looked straight at my husband and in a loud voice said, 'Your wife's pussy doesn't stink any more. We washed and shaved it, and now she smells like a rose!
Oh, and, by the way, she's pregnant! God only knows who the father is!' Then he closed the door. The silence was deafening.
One December day we found an old straggly cat at our door. She was a sorry sight. Starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny, and hair all matted down..
We felt sorry for her so we put her in a carrier and took her to the vet. We didn't know what to call her so we named her 'Pussycat.'
The vet decided to keep her for a day or so he said he would let us know when we could come and get her.
My husband (the complainer) said, 'OK, but don't forget to wash her, she stinks.' He reminded the vet that it was his WIFE (me) that wanted the dirty cat, not him.
My husband and my Vet don't see eye to eye. The vet calls my husband 'El-Cheap-O', and my husband calls the vet 'El-Charge- O'.
They love to hate each other and constantly 'snipe' at one another, with my husband getting in the last word on this particular occasion..
The next day my husband had an appointment with his doctor, Who is located in the same building, next door to the vet.
The GP's waiting room and office was full of people waiting to see the doctor. A side door opened and the vet leaned in - he had obviously seen my husband arrive.
He looked straight at my husband and in a loud voice said, 'Your wife's pussy doesn't stink any more. We washed and shaved it, and now she smells like a rose!
Oh, and, by the way, she's pregnant! God only knows who the father is!' Then he closed the door. The silence was deafening.
I got kicked out of the Walmart break room today. I got asked why I was even in the break room. Well, I am on a break, so isn’t this where I should be? Uh, but you don’t work here? I responded, “well, I just finished using the self check out, so technically I do work here.”
For anyone that needs a clarification on a woman's brassiere. I could also put this on the "Did you know thread"
WHAT RELIGION IS YOUR BRA?
A man walked into the ladies department and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said,'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife. '' What type of bra?' asked the clerk.
'Type?' inquires the man, 'There's more than one type?'' Look around,' said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable.'Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from.'
Relieved, the man asked about the types.
The saleslady replied:'There are the Catholic, Salvation Army, Presbyterian, and the Baptist types.Which one would you prefer?'
Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.The Saleslady responded, 'It is all really quite simple.'
The Catholic type supports the masses;The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen;The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright;The Baptist type makes mountains out of molehills.
Oh and
Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD , E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes?
If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!
{A} Almost Boobs.{B} Barely there.{C} Can't Complain.{D} Dang!{DD} Double dang!{E} Enormous!{F} Fake.{G} Get a Reduction.{H} Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!
oh They forgot the German bra.
Holtzemfromfloppen!!
WHAT RELIGION IS YOUR BRA?
A man walked into the ladies department and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said,'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife. '' What type of bra?' asked the clerk.
'Type?' inquires the man, 'There's more than one type?'' Look around,' said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable.'Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from.'
Relieved, the man asked about the types.
The saleslady replied:'There are the Catholic, Salvation Army, Presbyterian, and the Baptist types.Which one would you prefer?'
Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.The Saleslady responded, 'It is all really quite simple.'
The Catholic type supports the masses;The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen;The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright;The Baptist type makes mountains out of molehills.
Oh and
Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD , E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes?
If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!
{A} Almost Boobs.{B} Barely there.{C} Can't Complain.{D} Dang!{DD} Double dang!{E} Enormous!{F} Fake.{G} Get a Reduction.{H} Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!
oh They forgot the German bra.
Holtzemfromfloppen!!
Displaying 46 to 60 of 7,547 posts
