Need your Best Wishes and Prayers
Plum ,Same thing happened to me two months ago nephew age 27. No Answers. The only thing that made some kind of sense is what my sister said. That is what HE wanted.So what ever was wrong HE is at peace. Life is tough for the living. It really strikes home when it happens to you.
Plum, very sorry about the whole situation. I was at a funeral recently for a man whose daughter committed suicide several years ago. The minister brought it up and my wife thought he should not have. I told her that the problem is nobody ever talks about it. Get it out in the open, show people how much it affects everyone.
Yesterday was a tough, tough day, it was my nephew's service.
I think everyone had been hoping for answers, unfortunately the questions only grew.
He was an honors student who was entering the Air Force to become a pilot (and he was super excited about it.) He recently underwent a thorough physical and mental evaluation through the Air Force, and passed with flying colors. He was the captain of his cross country team, a leader on his Robotics team, swim team, and had so much to live for. He was home just two weeks ago and was in great spirits.
Absolutely no one saw this coming - there was not a single warning sign. His friends from ROTC, his college friends, his hometown friends, his college professors, his cousins, aunts, uncles, siblings, and parents all dumbfounded. The police went through his cell phone and lab top - found absolutely nothing. Not a single person can look back and identify a warning sign. He went to classes the day he took his life. He had just put new tires on his car days before his death. Nothing supports what happened, but it happened... He obviously was wrestling some demons but not a single person was aware of his struggle.
At his service his entire ROTC Detachment (about 40 people) drove 4 hours to make the service. They were dressed in their Service Blues with white gloves and looked really sharp. They had a flag ceremony that I had not seen before, and left everyone in the room in tears. They presented the flag along with a shadow box with my nephew's rank and hat to his mother.
I have two reasons for posting this. One is continued prayers for my cousin, her husband, and my other nephew. Out of respect for their privacy I don't want to post their names, but God knows who they are. Life is forever different for them and nothing makes any sense.
The second is that this whole ordeal has opened my eyes to some of the stresses that our kid's are under - that as parents we have absolutely no idea. I have a great relationship my boys and am very involved in their lives, that said, so was my cousin and her husband with their child, and that closeness didn't prevent what happened. Touch base with your kids, let them know there is no decision they could make, no problem they could have, no predicament they could find themselves in, no problem that you can't help them solve, nothing that would change how their family feels about them, and let them know how much they mean to you.
My boys both said they were fine, and that they would come to me if it wasn't. I feel better that we had the conversation - a conversation we would not otherwise of had.