Joke of the day

PARKING TICKET

I went to the store the other day, and I was in there for only about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked geek. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for worn tires! So I called him a piece of garbage. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket! This went on for about 20 minutes... the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner. I try to have a little fun each day. It's important.

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.  He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. The son says, "I did some schoolwork."  The robot slaps the son. The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies."  Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?" Son says, "Toy Story." The robot slaps the son. Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching por*n."  Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what por*n was."  The robot slaps the father.  Mom laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son."  The robot slaps the mother.  Robot for sale.

https://video.twimg.com/ext_tw_video/1779464244188127232/pu/pl/P1duAMp7oeJhWFbG.m3u8?tag=12&container=cmaf

Iran attempting to hurt Israel.

​https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86qKgK0asGo​​​

anybody here have some spare fishing line?

https://summarynews.whatfinger.com/2024/04/13/very-bad-prank/

Don't

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I remember when i was little and had that rare condition where i had to eat a handful of dirt every day from the garden....good thing i had older brothers and sisters to tell me about it...

Common sense is not  a gift, it's a curse.

Because you have to deal with everyone who doesn't have it.


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A wife sent a message to her husband: “Don’t forget to buy vegetables on your way back from the office, and Priscilla says hi to you.”
Husband: Who is Priscilla?
Wife: Nobody, I was just making sure you read my message.
Husband: But I’m with Priscilla right now, so which Priscilla are you talking about?
Wife: Where are you??
Husband: Near the vegetable market.
Wife: Wait I’m coming there right now...
After 10 minutes she texts her husband, “Where are you?”
Husband: I’m at the office. Now that you are at the market, buy whatever vegetables you need.

Right on Gobbler.......

The Eclipse 

I do ice sculptures. Today I made a sphere and tomorrow I will make a cube.

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