Joke of the day

9/20/02 @ 9:49 AM
ORIGINAL POST
NavyChief
NavyChief
USER since 9/8/02
Shortly after President Bush took office, an old man approached the White House from the park across Pennsylvania Ave where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the U. S. Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Clinton." The Marine looked at the man and said, "Sir, Mr. Clinton is no longer president and no longer resides here." The old man said, "Okay," and walked away. The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Clinton." The Marine again told the man, "Sir, Mr. Clinton is no longer president and no longer resides here." The man thanked him and, again, just walked away. The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to thevery same U. S. Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet withPresident Clinton." The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Clinton; "I've told you already that Mr. Clinton is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don't you understand?" The old man looked at the Marine and said, "Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it." The Marine snapped to attention, saluted and said, "See you tomorrow,Sir!"

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Displaying 1 to 10 of 5,323 Posts
11/17/17 @ 7:03 PM
11/15/17 @ 6:09 PM
SnakeSter
SnakeSter
MEMBER since 7/9/12

Yea Pike, That’s Liberal crap for ya, that couldn’t survive without government partial funding.

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11/15/17 @ 5:47 AM
Pike River Outfitters
Pike River Outfitters
MEMBER since 5/3/08

PBS NewsHour . Now there is a joke for you !

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11/15/17 @ 5:43 AM
ice queen
ice queen
USER since 12/16/10

To funny!!!

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11/13/17 @ 9:47 PM
Walleye Wizard
Walleye  Wizard
USER since 6/23/01

Deer opener joke.

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11/13/17 @ 8:40 PM
Plmlk
Plmlk
MEMBER since 12/18/07

iq and BT, it was quite funny. 

She picked up the pieces on put it on her neighbor's desk.  From there it circulated around the building!

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11/13/17 @ 1:08 PM
BugleTrout
BugleTrout
USER since 9/27/01

Plmlk, 

Another good one to play on arachnophobes is to pull out about 8" of toilet paper off of the roll, draw a spider on the paper with a black felt tipped marker and wind it back up so the spider is on the backside of the roll. 

My wife, son and I were watching TV one night a few years ago.  At commercial break, my wife gets up and says that she has to use the bathroom.  I look over at the boy and he's got this crap eating grin on his face.  I asked him what's up and he said to wait a minute.  Then the shriek that could be heard throughout the neighborhood came.  God she was mad.  I'm going to miss that kid when goes off to college.

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11/13/17 @ 12:31 PM
jlkohl
jlkohl
USER since 6/9/02

Joke of the Day??? How about Colin Kaepernick named "Citizen of the year" by GQ magazine. Now that, my friends, is a JOKE.

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11/13/17 @ 5:56 AM
ice queen
ice queen
USER since 12/16/10

Plmlk 

I love it glad you got a good laugh!! Hope she wasn’t to mad at you!

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11/13/17 @ 12:48 AM
BOBBYB
BOBBYB
USER since 5/24/03

Farmer Steve decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court, the trucking company’s fancy lawyer interrogated Farmer Steve.


“Didn’t you say at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine?”‘ asked the lawyer.


Farmer Steve responded, “Well, I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Suzie into the…”


“I didn’t ask for any details,” the lawyer interrupted, “just answer the question. Did you not say at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine?’”


Farmer Steve said, “Well, I had just got Suzie into the trailer and I was driving down the road…”


The lawyer interrupted again and said, “Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the highway patrolman on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.”


By this time the judge was fairly interested in Farmer Steve’s answer and said to the lawyer, “I’d like to hear what he has to say.”


Farmer Steve thanked the Judge and proceeded, “Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Suzie into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Suzie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear ol’ Suzie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a highway patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Suzie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me.”


“He said, ‘Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?”

“Now what the hell would you say?”

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Displaying 1 to 10 of 5,323 Posts