Joke of the day

1/8/03 @ 6:06 PM
ORIGINAL POST
redneck29
redneck29
USER since 8/28/01
PARKING TICKET

I went to the store the other day, and I was in there for only about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked geek. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for worn tires! So I called him a piece of garbage. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket! This went on for about 20 minutes... the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner. I try to have a little fun each day. It's important.

Post Your Comment
Displaying 1 to 10 of 5,541 Posts
12/6/18 @ 8:44 PM
IceManKimi
IceManKimi
USER since 7/20/07

This fella wants a divorce.

He tells the judge, "Your Honor, I can't take it anymore. Every night, she's out at all hours and into the early morning, going from bar to bar".

The judge asks, "Do you know what she's doing?"

The fella says, "Yes, your Honor, she's looking for me."

Post Your Comment
12/2/18 @ 8:36 AM
mooselegs
mooselegs
USER since 5/27/03

Might be that time..........

Post Your Comment
11/28/18 @ 4:34 PM
jaybeeturtle
jaybeeturtle
USER since 3/17/06

My wife is a flight attendant, so she got a kick out of the coon joke

Post Your Comment
11/28/18 @ 4:10 PM
crawdaddy
crawdaddy
USER since 7/11/01

Love the raccoon joke.  Wonder how many had to look up what carrion means? 

Post Your Comment
11/28/18 @ 3:51 PM
duckdog
duckdog
USER since 1/24/02

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.

He decides to test it out at dinner one night.

The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.

The son says, "I did some homework."

The robot slaps the son.

The son says, "Ok, Ok, I was at a friend's house watching movies."

Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?"

Son says, "Toy Story."

The robot slaps the son.

Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching porn."

Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what porn was."

The robot slaps the father.

Mom laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son."

The robot slaps the mother.

Robot for sale.


Post Your Comment
11/27/18 @ 5:22 PM
wiscoarborist
wiscoarborist
USER since 11/6/18

A guy checks in at the airport gate to board a flight. 

When he gets to the gate, he puts a dead raccoon on the counter while he fishes for his ticket. 

The agent asks him, “What’s that?!?” 

The guy says, “My former pet, I’m taking it home to bury it.” 

The agent says, “You can’t take that disgusting thing on the aircraft!” 

 The guy says, “Why not? It’s carrion luggage, isn’t it?”  


Post Your Comment
11/25/18 @ 10:58 PM
Batman1
Batman1
USER since 1/23/09

The Green Bay Packers

Post Your Comment
11/25/18 @ 10:56 PM
Batman1
Batman1
USER since 1/23/09

****Joke of the day****

The Green Bay Packers??

Post Your Comment
11/24/18 @ 7:45 PM
Pool8
Pool8
USER since 1/27/17


Post Your Comment
11/23/18 @ 8:42 PM
Wicasa
Wicasa
USER since 11/11/15

With God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly........

Post Your Comment
Displaying 1 to 10 of 5,541 Posts