Joke of the day

9/20/02 @ 9:49 AM
ORIGINAL POST
NavyChief
NavyChief
USER since 9/8/02
Shortly after President Bush took office, an old man approached the White House from the park across Pennsylvania Ave where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the U. S. Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Clinton." The Marine looked at the man and said, "Sir, Mr. Clinton is no longer president and no longer resides here." The old man said, "Okay," and walked away. The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Clinton." The Marine again told the man, "Sir, Mr. Clinton is no longer president and no longer resides here." The man thanked him and, again, just walked away. The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to thevery same U. S. Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet withPresident Clinton." The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Clinton; "I've told you already that Mr. Clinton is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don't you understand?" The old man looked at the Marine and said, "Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it." The Marine snapped to attention, saluted and said, "See you tomorrow,Sir!"

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Displaying 1 to 10 of 5,346 Posts
1/19/18 @ 3:59 PM
Wicasa
Wicasa
USER since 11/11/15

That is a joke.  A $400 bar tab won't get him very far.

Edited on 1/19/18 4:27 PM
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1/19/18 @ 3:57 PM
CHISEL
CHISEL
USER since 6/19/01

This should probably go in the trading post not here and I know it’s late notice, but a friend of mine has two tickets for the Super Bowl in Minneapolis, MN at the new U.S. Bank Stadium on Sunday February 4th. They are box seats and he paid $3,500 per ticket, which includes the ride to and from the airport, lunch, dinner, a $400.00 bar tab and a pass to the winners locker room after the game. What he didn't realize when he bought them last year was that it’s on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place. It's at St. Paul's Church at 3 pm.Her name is Ashley. She’s 5'4", about 115 pounds, a good cook, loves to fish and hunt and will clean your truck. She'll be the one in the white dress.

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1/13/18 @ 3:33 PM
jaybeeturtle
jaybeeturtle
USER since 3/17/06

John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully, "Give me one last request, dear. " 

"Of course, John, "  his wife said.

"Six months after I die, I want you to marry Bob.

"But I thought you hated Bob," she said.

With his last breath, John said, "I do!"

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1/12/18 @ 9:05 AM
Polski
Polski
MEMBER since 5/11/03


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1/1/18 @ 1:27 PM
Higgs
Higgs
USER since 1/14/13

A guy gets a motel room at a local mom and pop motel and ask the attendant  " is the porn disabled in my room? " 

the  attendant says. " No you sicko,  its regular porn like everyone else watches " 

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1/1/18 @ 9:28 AM
Pool8
Pool8
USER since 1/27/17


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12/30/17 @ 6:42 PM
Wicasa
Wicasa
USER since 11/11/15

Yep, that sounds just like Steinbeck........

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12/30/17 @ 6:01 PM
ice queen
ice queen
USER since 12/16/10

Yup this is how I feel!!

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12/26/17 @ 7:37 PM
utahman
utahman
USER since 3/9/03

John Steinbeck:

Two men were meeting in a bar when the subject of Green Bay, Wisconsin came up. The first man said, " Green Bay is a real nice place". The second responded "What's so nice about it? The only things ever to come out of Green Bay were the Packers and ugly who-es." "Now you wait just one minute buddy,"said the first man. "My wife is from Green Bay." "Oh," replied the second man. "She is? What position does she play?

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12/26/17 @ 7:18 PM
Polski
Polski
MEMBER since 5/11/03


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Displaying 1 to 10 of 5,346 Posts