Crazy Sh-tuff wives say

HG Looking like its a county wide issue

Maybe I'm missing something, but I was just snapped at for putting my coffee mug on an end table without a coaster...because it will burn the table.

I really like Texas toast. Where do they find such thick beead?

Would you like to stop at the grocery store after work and pick up a few things?

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Thought I would post this on this thread because what she would have said if I had shown her the picture. Thought I'd save myself an earful and not show her. I always knew she had some devil in her.

Are you gonna help me clean the house today?

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The wife and I were at a family b-day party last week.
My nephew had one of those super sized black Sharpie permanent markers available for people to put their names on their plastic cups. I mean this thing had a tip at least 1/2" wide. Of course everyone starting sniffing the tip and saying that it reminded them of grammar school.

Here's what happened next:

-Our son starts  smelling the pen and acts woozy.
-My wife gets perturbed and tells our son to stop "huffing" the pen because he's killing his brain cells and just get her a cup of wine.
-While she's sipping her cup of
wine she keeps complaining about how everyone huffing the Sharpie has now filled the house with a dangerous odor...
-After a few giggles from us, I told her she was smelling her own cup with her name written on it !


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Punt. Wife.  ''Why is he kicking it there, there's nobody there.''

Polski: I got one better.  Turn the clock back to the season we went 15-1 OK?  We had first round bye and in the divisional round faced the wild-card Giants.  Remember that debacle?  Anyway, game is over (we lost) and I'm in the garage putting away my deep fryer and my wife says, "Don't worry, we'll get them in the playoffs."

Uhhh, yeah.

Watching the Loin/49er game. Half way through 2nd 1/4, wife says....Wow there's a lot of 49er fans there.
Um.....there playing in San Fran??

Wife: I didnt like the apple pie you made.   Me. Why?  Wife: It just tasted only like baked apples. Guess who ate most of it. ??????? WTF.I got up last night to eat the last piece and it was gone.

I asked my wife for directions/address and the color of a house that her friend plans to put on the market. Keep in mind that this house is only maybe 15 or 20 suburban blocks away from where we live...
After my wife gave me nonsensical spanglish directions, I was completely confused ! I only had a street name to go by...
She referenced a "busy street where you turn right", and an "escuela with a dead end" and a "letrero muy raro".
She had no idea of the address of a house that she has been visiting for 10+ years !